it’s a girl thing by henrietta henry
the stuff I’ve gotten in past years.
In light of this conundrum, I decided to make a list of “Lesbian Gift Do’s and
Don’ts.” And hopefully anyone out there shopping for the lesbian on his or her list
who was maybe thinking of getting her that rainbow car seat cover will recon-
sider...unless of course she really did ask Santa for one!
Do’s
Cologne/Perfume. This is always a sure bet. For those of us lesbians out there who
like to smell masculine, there’s nothing like getting good cologne for the holidays.
If she likes to smell girly, a good perfume is fantastic. If you’re not sure what scent
she’d like best, opt for a gift card to Sephora or Macy’s. The selections there are
awesome.
Gift certificates to local eateries. My lesbian buds and I love going out to eat, drink
and wreak havoc at Baja Betty’s, Mo’s and Lei Lounge, so I know I’d love to pull a
gift card to any of those places out of my stocking. If she doesn’t like those eateries
then grab a gift card to her favorite spot. That way it’s still a hit, but a little more
personal.
All cool things for the hair. If there’s one thing my lesbian friends have in common,
it’s that they’re fanatical about their hair. I actually don’t have even one lesbian
friend who doesn’t use some (or many) hair products. It might be a little tricky
finding out exactly what she uses, but if you can get it figured out you’re golden.
And she’ll definitely appreciate it.
The Do’s
Don’ts
No lame queer shirts. Don’t get one of those t-shirts that say cheesy things like
and Don’Ts
“Your Girlfriend Wants Me” on the front. Not only are they tacky, but best-case
scenario it ends up as a pajama shirt. Worst case, it ends up in the trash or at a local
of HoliDay Gifts
thrift store. Sure, the lesbian on your list might be the hottest number in town,
but she definitely doesn’t need to advertise it. Let her land the babes sans the
for lesbians
narcissistic t-shirts.
No rainbow jewelry. The intertwining rainbow female symbols necklace is some-
thing I wouldn’t wear, and most of the lesbians I know wouldn’t be caught dead
The holidays are descending upon us, people. It’s really true. The bombardment with it dangling from their necks either. Go with something a little more creative
of seasonal commercials has begun. Our mailboxes are full of fliers for holiday if you’re giving jewelry.
sales. Stores have tirelessly put up their catchy displays. It’s here...again! And
like everyone else, I can’t believe it. Maybe my disbelief comes from me getting Naughty lesbian-themed gifts. This one’s a little grey-area for some people, but I
older and having made the transition from the excited, present-loving kid to the personally don’t want to get sexy things from anyone except my girlfriend. And
sentimental, quality-time-loving adult. what is it with this anyway? If you’re a lesbian you’re suddenly sex-obsessed?
Secretly though, (or maybe not so secretly now) I still love getting presents. (Well...maybe...hehe) But really, now. My girlfriend actually got like, lesbian porn
(And giving them too)! But something has happened since I was a little kid who or something from her sister one year. While I find this hilarious for her, I wouldn’t
was an easy slam-dunk on the Christmas list. Since I came out of the closet, I have wanted to open up a porno on Christmas morning. Stay out of the sex shops
became...”the lesbian” on the list. when shopping for lesbian friends or relatives.
I’m of course, okay with being the lesbian on the list. But sometimes that
equals getting a pile of things I don’t want. I don’t know if anyone else has ex- So hopefully anyone buying for a lesbian who may have been confused about
perienced the predicament of well-intentioned friends and relatives of equating what to give them will find that this list clears some things up. My family, though,
being queer with wanting all things queer, but it’s definitely happened to me. I’ve might be a little more difficult to persuade. I’m thinking of pulling a Ralphie and
unwrapped presents on Christmas morning and it’s looked like the aftermath of a leaving a copy of The Rage Monthly opened to this little list on a few beds. Maybe
Pride Parade on the living room floor. While I can appreciate my family and friends then, along with spending lots of quality time with the family, I’ll get a few cool
being proud of who I am, (and apparently wanting to show me just how proud things this year. And maybe my girlfriend and I can be the ones to give each other
with gay-themed gifts) there are far better gifts that I’d like to receive than some of sexy things...ooh la la!
30 RAGE monthly | DECEMBER 2008
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