Mystery Shopper 24/4/09 12:48 pm Page 2
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Erotic Trade Only May 2009
RETAIL INVESTIGATION: LINCOLNSHIRE
SimplyPleasure.com, Lincoln
Worried I’d taken a happy pill in error, I arrangement and Triple X boxed play
approached SimplyPleasure, about a mile equipment. The long central island, £40
from the town centre, cautiously. The exterior Nurses uniforms, £25 glass dildos and a box
wasn’t quite up to par with the group’s usual marked, temptingly, ‘Giant Pussy’ were all
standard, but was still well above the average, noticed too. One disappointment; a large
and 50% Off sale posters were unmissable. flatscreen TV reflected the room - always a
Wood-effect slatwall with black trip above missed opportunity. However, with a generally
woodesque flooring looked sharp and clean, excellent product range and displays, good
the manageress was friendly and I spotted a location and staff, decent lighting and
good selection of magazines. Local radio had atmosphere, clean surfaces and stock and
a depressing story on, but I ignored it as I even a nice smell I didn’t feel a twinge when
browsed Leg Avenue, Darker Designs and giving this branch full marks too. I don’t think
fetish lines including shiny cuffs. The £25 I’ve ever given three shops in the same report
R18 DVDs were pink-stickered 3 for 2 and my five stars. Yet, there it is.
RATING:
eyes were drawn to a strong gay/bi selection,
a35a35a35a35a35
a slim £10 plug, £40 door-mounted bondage
Private, Lincoln
I’ll let you into a secret. I knew Private was manager. DVDs were mostly £25, with some
very close to
SimplyPleasure.com - indeed, at £20/£15 and caseless ones at £5. £10
I’d seen it on the way in - and I half-hoped it 18-rated films were arranged around the
would be one of the chain’s weaker offerings counter and there was a well sign-posted gay
so I could let my inner bitch out and get section. £6 HC mags, £40 Intimate Liaisons
some balance back into this review. I was rabbits, £20/£15 Fun Factory... As I went for
disappointed. The front wasn’t perhaps the the door, noticing a sign on it: ‘Thank you for
best in the world, but it was all neat and tidy, your custom - Have a nice day’, I was given a
with more Sale signs (Up To 75% here) catalogue. This rounded off another, almost
inviting me in. There was a hint of dèjà vu frustratingly pleasant, visit. Not a standout
inside, with near-identical quality fittings and shop in this company, but that’s actually a
flooring to SimplyPleasure, another idle (but compliment given the standard of the others
smaller) TV, music and quite a lot of similar I’d seen in the area.
stock. Yet this shop had a cosier shape,
RATING:
helped by low beams (complete with Mind
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Your Head notices) and a really charming
Pulse & Cocktails, Grantham
I found an empty parking space right outside informed manageress approached me and
Grantham’s branch of P&C; another good explained their dual-price part-exchange
omen? I was taken by the classic window system. Amongst the extensive toywall I recall
displays and quality branding again and was a giant black ‘Rambone’ dildo for £39.95,
surprised to see myself looking back as I £9.99 bondage tape, glass dildos, £8.95 HC
entered - mirrored slatwall and dark woodish magazines on an island (with multi-deals),
floor giving the good-sized shop something of boxed latex (£9.99 thong)... It was a dazzling
a cocktail lounge feel. The ‘airlock’ kept the array. There was even a large display of
sounds of the busy road outside at bay for me novelties and £49.95 Gift Boxes full of adult
to relax and admire a realistic dildo suckered goodies. Shoes, wigs, clubwear, schoolgirl/air-
to the mirrored wall. Close by, a Try Before hostess/nurse/maid uniforms around
You Buy shelf had several interesting models £39.99... Better than merely good, was there
on it and when I went to look at the £35/two anything this shop was missing? Not that I
for £49.95/six for £100 DVDs (some new noticed. Not even a star. Oh my!
RATING:
titles displayed too high up, lots of ‘these
a35a35a35a35a35
cases are empty’ notices) the amenable, well-
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