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Mystery Shopper 24/4/09 12:46 pm Page 1
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RETAIL INVESTIGATION: LINCOLNSHIRE
Erotic Trade Only May 2009
Mystery Shopper
Having savoured Stevenage last month, for May ETO’s Mystery Shopper pushed further
north along the A1(M) into Lincolnshire and delivers her most surprising report since
this feature began...
L
incoln - formerly Lindvm - is the county town of Lincolnshire and thanks
to a particularly fine cathedral, is in fact the city of Lincoln. The county
itself is best defined by its location on the east coast of England, neatly
connecting the Wash in the south to the Humber in the north, and stretching
around 30 miles inland. The city is known not only for the cathedral, but also
its castle (which houses one of only four remaining originals of the Magna
Carta), many Roman ruins, and sausages. Standing above the River Witham,
which links it to Grantham 24 miles to the south, Lincoln is home to 88,000
souls.
Grantham will forevermore be associated with Margaret Thatcher but Sir
Isaac Newton, Nicholas Parsons and Beverly Allitt, Munchausen’s Syndrome
by Proxy sufferer, also hail from Grantham - population 34,500.
As you’ll see, I had a very impressive trip to the area. Not since my visit to
York for the May 2007 issue of ETO have I been unable to choose a favourite.
Then, I saw five differently but equally mid-range shops. However, Lincoln
exceeded all expectations...
Mystery Shopper ratings:
a35a35a35a35a35 Could do with a little attention
a35a35a35a35a35 Okay, but still room for improvement
a35a35a35a35a35 Good, just not quite up with the best
a35a35a35a35a35 Very good, and a credit to its owners
a35a35a35a35a35 As good as it gets in any retail sector
Pulse & Cocktails, Saxilby
Seven miles west of Lincoln is this unusual bondage bits, lots of toys including an
retailer; only the second of its type I’ve ElectraStim display, Joyce Jones Cat-o-Nine-
visited. In November 2007 I reported from Tails (£18.95) and £44.95 Roxy plus fetish
Sandy in Bedfordshire on an impressive footwear before reaching the DVDs at the end
converted Little Chef, and this Pulse & of the large L-shaped room. They were £35
Cocktails follows a similar arc, even more each/two for £49.95/six for £100 and the
successfully. Smashed doors parked outside choice was vast, though a small label up high
hinted at a break-in, and ‘2008 Opening read ‘Some films may be pre-owned’. I noted
Times’ signs gave me a time-warp feeling, but the clear plastic shelving on white slatwall
the windows were simple and classy and above wood-a-like flooring, all of which looked
things picked up even more inside, where I great and gave this brightly lit store a crisp
was immediately taken by the range and its edge. Pleasant music and staff enhanced the
presentation. Spoilt for choice, I glanced at experience, as did little details like P&C’s
£15.95 wigs, Hustler Virtual Girl, £29.95 own labels and branded signage. More than
RATING:
sexy secretary outfits (among perhaps the just a cut above the average, this is a damn
a35a35a35a35a35
biggest range of playwear I’ve ever seen), nice shop!
Ann Summers, Lincoln
Buoyed by a particularly good first stop, I (Cheerleader uniform £35) merchandise; a
pressed into Lincoln to discover this Ann very effective device. The smallest of black
Summers in a prime High Street location, marks: copies of the 18-rated version of Hug
next to a handsome archway leading up to the a Hoodie (£12) were stickered ‘Win Tickets to
cathedral and castle. This was a prettier than Erotica 08!’ - not unless you’re friends with
average branch, with pink floor tiles, a big Dr Who. A busy, friendly shop with a warm air
push on the Knickerbox brand and welcoming blower above the door (makes it feel ‘proper’,
staff. Unlike some recent examples of the if you know what I mean), I left with a spring
chain I’ve sampled, I couldn’t find any in my step for once. Outside, the windows
unpriced product, but did see well-displayed weren’t letting a top-notch store down, and as
lines (£10 bondage tape and sparkly nipple I wrote my notes ‘Nice’ was used many times.
tassels, £7 feather boas) and liked how I double checked myself before ticking the ‘5
colours denoted areas. Black net curtains Stars’ box, but just couldn’t justify giving this
backed the more BDSM inspired lines (lots of shop fewer.
RATING:
PVC and bright chrome) and purple-rear-lit
a35a35a35a35a35
white nets backed the frillier, pinker
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