p18 Sports Arkwright 6/16/08 12:38 PM Page 18
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www.sgb-sports.comSports and Outdoor
Arkwright
The Independent
Voice
. . . “ It turned
out the nail in
I
couldn’t decide whether the weather it. During the protracted purchase I’d had cave to the threats of YELL and its various
forecasters were trying to work for
the cue was
plenty of time to study his body language henchmen, viz NCO, Moorcroft Debt
us or sabotage our efforts on the and made a mental note that he looked Recovery and Midas Legal Services, over
spring bank holiday. The media and
not an act of
the type to be a bad loser – the type of £95.18 including VAT. I’ve shown great
politicians’ doom and gloom had been customer you might in fact prefer to shop patience responding to every computer
doing a grand job at killing any spark of at Argos! Sure enough, later in the generated letter, many of which make no
positive thinking so when the weather
aggression but
morning in he bounced and I have to sense at all but contain varying levels of
ladies and gentlemen joined in with admit on this occasion all my negative threats from “my credit rating being
predictions of rain, wind and the end of
just some
assumptions were (unusually) wrong. It damaged” to “our local representative
the world it looked like the icing on the turned out the nail in the cue was not an calling at your home address”. While
cake for a bad weekend. However, in act of aggression but just some peculiar computers can generate letters they seem
total contradiction to the forecast for
peculiar
accident at the snooker club and once unable to read what is sent in reply so no
our area the sun came out and we had there it seemed – or so he said – a handy meaningful correspondence is conducted.
two glorious days of warm sunshine way of attaching the note. It seemed Stationery used on their parts, postage,
(before the rain, wind and end of the
accident at
sensible not to question this rather odd computer time and the occasional human
world arrived!). I think, on balance, the explanation, as at that stage I was still input must almost equal the amount
forecasters were probably on our side
and possibly indulging in a bit of reverse the snooker
uncertain of his motives, but then it they’re chasing so where’s the logic in that?
became apparent I hadn’t read the whole If the bailiffs arrive the only thing I’m
psychology to ingratiate themselves note. On the reverse was scrawled, “Great prepared to offer them is a poster of John
with the public. Those holidaymakers
club…”
cue! Save me two, I need a replacement Terry, standing up, holding an England
who’d been bold enough to book their and my mate wants one as well”. I nearly Euro 2008 mug.
time away in advance had, to my good fainted with relief; visions of being
fortune, brought all the wrong clothes impaled on the cue had not been Five pound notes seem to stay in
expecting bad weather so had to call in with a note nailed to it curtly informing pleasant! circulation way past their working life
for shorts, tees and sandals and the me “I’ll be in to sort this out”. Grateful for expectancy and get far tattier than ten, 20
locals were so elated at being able to advance warning I swung into action Keeping my accounts up to date and and 50 pound notes. There are some
head for the beach I came close to preparing my refusal to refund and doing settling bills on time is part of my disgusting examples around; I took some
rationing sales of footballs, frisbees and a few yoga exercises to ensure I’d stay calm established routine but I have for some real horrors to the bank this week.
flippers to prevent too much of a in the face of what was likely to be a months now been refusing to pay one Reflecting on why this should be I’ve come
stampede in that direction. confrontational situation. I recalled a man invoice because my instructions were not up with a possible theory: loads of people
who, now likely to be Mr Disgruntled, had followed, and as a result the value of my put a fiver in their pocket “just in case”,
Having experienced highs over the taken well over half an hour looking at advertisement was totally negated. Having forget about it and later the jeans go in the
weekend there was bound to be a low and cues before he splashed out all of £15 on succeeded in getting EDF to settle for £250 pre wash, full wash, tumble dryer with the
it appeared to come in the form of a the one he eventually chose, the same one when they invoiced me for over £4,000 fiver still in the pocket… a whole new
snooker cue stuffed through the letterbox it would seem that now had a nail through (how’s that for a result?) I’m not about to meaning to money laundering!
18 JUNE 2008
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