Presence—The Perfect Gift For Everyone
by Nancy Scheel ever you’re doing is only getting part of pectations about the holidays. We think
your attention. things have to be a certain way, and we
I
f you’re anything like me, you reach The thing about joy is it won’t show put our attention and effort into creat-
the end of a holiday season and find up if you don’t. And when your atten- ing those “magic” conditions. But really
yourself wondering if you were actu- tion is divided, so are you. Whenever the magic is in us. Ask yourself: where
ally there for any of it. You remember you give your full attention to whoever might you be over-doing the details or
the blur of gifts, decorations, entertain- or whatever is around you, the more the perfection of your decorating, entertain-
ing, oh - and family! - but what of the real you is there. You feel more alive, ing, office party cooking or gift-giving?
joy of the season? Was there any? The and others feel it in you, too. Everyone What will bring you and others more
time went so fast! And there was so and everything has more depth, color, joy - their judgment of how well you
much - stress! and vibrancy. joy becomes possible! “do” the holidays, or unhurried, dedi-
Ah, stress. That familiar heavy,
pressured, frantic feel. Not much joy
Many of us get into “over-drive” and approach the holi-
there, indeed. So what are we to do?
This year, consider giving yourself and
days like a marathon. There’s no question that the activi-
your loved ones the gift of presence.
ties of the holidays - enjoyable as they may be - place
Presence is being 100 percent “there”
- your mind, heart and body all in the
extra demands on our physical and mental energy.
same place at the same time. Think
about what it’s like when someone is
talking about something important to
them, but you’re thinking about how you So how do we do this? Presence isn’t cated time connecting with those who
really have other things you need to be so much what we do, as it is something are most precious to you? Expectations
doing. Or when you’re multi-tasking so that shows up when we let go of some are powerful - but they generally leave
many things that you goof up and have common habits in how we think, how we little room for joy to arise. If you’re
to start something over again. Or when manage our physical energy, and how we thinking about how “well” you have to
you’ve scheduled yourself to attend two relate to others with our heart. do, you’ll be missing whatever is actu-
parties happening on the same night, Here are some common joy-inhib- ally happening in the moment. joy hap-
so you leave one early and arrive late to iting habits, along with tips for loosen- pens in the moment, not in the future.
the other, trying to cover your bases. In ing up on them just a little. Honor your body. More than ever,
any of these scenarios, there’s not much Notice your thoughts. Many of us the holidays are a time for self-care and
presence. Whoever you’re with or what- get caught up in our standards and ex- centering activities. Many of us get into
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