The Happiness way to enhance a
Child’s Self-esteem
by Mary Catherine their role benefits others. You can also ask
their advice, which shows that what they think
O
ne of the most important gifts we is important. Asking them to teach you how
can give a child is the ability for to do something fosters the concept that they
them to feel good about themselves, have something to contribute. This approach
or positive self-esteem. This alone will also instills a sense of belonging.
determine the type of friends they 3. Spend time with them. Do you know
have, their academic achievements, and how children spell love? T-I-M-E! The time we
their success in life. Although there are spend with them is what they most appreci-
numerous ways to produce this result, I ate. Our time and attention is what they want
have pinpointed eight that are essen- more than anything.
tial. Consider how these apply to your 4. treat them with respect.
parenting style: If you have something to say to a child,
1. Give them unconditional love. avoid doing it in front of others to avoid
Love them no matter what they do or embarrassing them. Also, do not say anything
do not do. Love needs to be automatic, to a child that you would not say to a friend.
while behaviors are favorable or unfa- This will allow them to feel better about
vorable. This allows children the free- themselves, create openness to what you are
dom to be themselves. Only then can saying, and help build the relationship.
they learn and grow with confidence. 5. Catch them being good. At any given
2. Help them feel valuable. Show time, children are being either appropriate or
them ways they bring value to the family. When they help you inappropriate in their behavior. As adults, we need to focus on
or a sibling, that is the perfect opportunity to focus on how the positive and let the children know when they are acting in
an acceptable way, verbally or otherwise.
6. teach them that mistakes are OK. Allowing children to
make mistakes enables them to learn and improve. It is essen-
tial that children understand that although they have made a
mistake, they themselves are not a mistake.
7. Help them feel powerful. One of the biggest obstacles
in parenting is dealing with the power struggles which come
up from time to time. Most of this can be avoided by allowing
your child to feel powerful by giving them choices rather than
deciding everything for them. “What would you like for lunch
today, Johnny, ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?”
8. encourage them often. Encouragement shows belief
in a child and states that we have confidence and faith in them.
For example, “You can do it, Susie!” Children whom are encour-
aged tend to have a more positive view of themselves and do
not compete with others.
There are many ways to enhance a child’s self-esteem; yet I
think you will find that these are pivotal in providing them with
the needed elements to feel good about who they are. When
children possess positive self-esteem, the amount of misbehav-
ior (their communication that their needs are not being met)
decreases significantly. When children have high self-esteem,
they are happier and behave much better. Of course, the best
way to teach children about positive self-esteem is to model it.
Mary Catherine is certified in both parent and family edu-
cation and has expertise and knowledge in both Psychology and
Metaphysics. Tel. 954.579.0338,
the-happiness-way@yahoo.com,
www.the-happiness-way.com. Ask for your free 15 minute session
to improve your parenting practices.
48 Broward County
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