The Kid and
As all this whirled in
my head, I had my eye on
the kite. Inspiration struck.
the Kite
When he joined me I said,
“Do you see that kite?
Doesn’t it look so happy, fly-
by Dawn Roth ing free?” “Yes,” he said. “Do
you know the kite cannot
I’
m so glad my son mouthed off at my parent’s church pic- fly without the string that
nic. No, really, I am! Let me back up and explain. We ended connects it to the earth?”
up as guests at the annual picnic by chance, but there are “Oh.” “So I really want the
no accidents. There were kites available, but I grabbed the one kite to soar, but I need to
that’s been sitting for three years in the back of my van, just in manage the string at the
case. I knew today was the day to share the gift of kite flying same time.” We actually use
with my five year old. the word manage this way at home. “Uh huh.”
The first few tries were not very impressive. Aston wan- Then, I kid you not, at that precise moment, the kite starts
dered off, having lost interest and, as I found out later, a little bobbing and weaving like crazy! “See how when it loses con-
hungry. Eventually, my brother-in-law teamed up with me and trol, I pull in the string until it straightens back out?” “Yeah.”
we had lift off! Within a few minutes I scanned the pavilion to “Well you are like the kite and I am like the string, when
invite him to experience the joy for himself. you lose control I pull the string in and help you straighten
Instead, my sister made her way over and informed me back out, got it?” “Got it.”
that as she helped Aston fill a plate of food with his regularly Having made my point, I zeroed in on the coaching he
declared ‘non-meat’ selections, there was an incident. Appar- needed. I handed him the kite string and he stood gazing up
ently, a well-meaning church member who knows my ex- and managing the string fully as I spoke. “So when the woman
tended family, but not us, offered him (gasp!) popcorn chicken, asked if you wanted chicken, was your answer keeping your
whereupon he yelled at her, “No meat, I said!!!” agreement to use manners?” “No.”
Lovely. The set of her mouth told me the upshot of all this. “Well, Aston, I’m pulling your string in.” He smiled up at me
She was half embarrassed at the implication of being his aunt, and I knew he got it. We flew the kite together.
yet half curious how I, the parenting coach, would handle this Within a few minutes we had safely landed the kite and
one. I asked if she could send him over. rolled up the string. As we walked together back to the pavilion
Knowing these moments are really opportunities to do to speak to the woman and fix his mistake, he turned to me
your best parenting work, I considered my options. I could get to say, “Hey Mom, I could just say, ‘No, thank you’ to popcorn
upset then make him say he was sorry for his mistake. No, too chicken.” Momentarily stopped in my tracks, I breathed, “Yes.”
emotionally charged. I could deny him the pleasure of the kite Then he turned and skipped away from me, arms wide,
flying or the other activities to make a point. Nah, then I miss crowing, “I’m flying, I’m flying!” I was complete.
out too. I could stop interacting with him until he notices – not Dawn Roth, 954.461.1802, Services Available Nationwide,
a chance, really. Licensed2Parent.com - Wise Choice. Amazing Child.
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August 2008 25
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