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Friday May 18 2007
hate squad
Why is it that Scottish football doesn’t like Hearts?
EVER get the feeling that everybody hates
you? I suppose if you’re Harold Shipman
that he doesn’t like us – he’d chop of
or Rose W
left bollock to go to Ibrox.
f his
that nobody likes you, what with being
est, you just have to accept
a serial killer and all that.
you’d think we’d be liked for standing up
But go further down the league, where
to the Old Firm, and it’
for Hearts? I’m not just talking about the SF
But why does everybody seem to have it in Yogi Hughes clearly has an obsessive
s the same story.
and the referees.
A dislike of us.
Now I must confess that I actually like
they’re out to get us for sneaking
We’ve known for years that Y
up a bit too closely on the
laugh down the pub, he’
ogi. I think he’d be a good
Glasgow bigot brothers.
moulded a good team out of
bugger all, and likes his
on the Old Firm’
They can’t allow us to muscle in football played the right
football, so they’ll do whatever it
s grip on Scottish way
takes to keep us in our place.
Were he not a dyed-in-
the-wool Hibee, I’d have
else – especially the managers
No, I’m talking about everybody him in our dugout.
of other teams. much? A
But why hate us so
I’d always thought Hearts were Hibee Leither
bearers for that section of Scottish
After all, we’re standard a diet of anti-Hearts propaganda.
, he’d be raised on
football which believes in all the
good things.
– it would be that stupid Hibee
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
version of the Hearts song.
at the heart of the community
We bring on youngsters, we’re
we stand up for Scottish football’
, out of it.
But you’d think he’d have grown
traditions. In other words, we
s any more – I assume.
After all, he isn’t breastfed
represent everything the Old
Firm don’t.
reflected in the papers and on
The anti-Hearts mood is also
I’m thinking about Andy W
other clubs to back us in our
For that reason, you’d expect Craig Burley and all the rest who’ve
battles with football’
got their heads so far up the Old
You’d think they’d say: “Good
s authorities. Firm’
luck, stick it right up those Old
at the other end.
s arses they can see daylight
Firm jokers who ruin our game.” and Jim Jef
Of course, there are Craig Levein
I’m thinking here about the likes
Instead, we get constant abuse. the-wool Jambos.
feries, who are dyed-in-
of that tube Jimmy Calderwood. and have to publicly stick the boot
They’re paid by other clubs now
quite often, he won’t admit Hearts
When we stuff them, which is
were the better team. W
won by a lucky goal, scored against the run
e always
Burley,Walker and Hughes
From top,
into us now and again.
I’m sure they’ll tell you Hearts is
But speak to them privately and
of play
still the team they care about.
When his journeymen sneaked a draw at
, or cheated. this, when our backs are to the wall, it is good
And at times like
men like Jim and Craig who’ll stand up for us.
the touchline like he’d won the European Cup
ynecastle a few weeks back he danced on
them. I’d give either the manager
Damn few others will, so we should applaud
He’s barr
competition at Butlins. But it’
– or the annual Bernie Winters look-a-like
s no real surprise
’s job at
the bastards that are out to get us.
ynie again – and that would really frighten
s a radge
y R
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