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wisewords
A Conversation
figures of light, but by making the dark- sult of integrating my anger, discontent,
ness conscious.” Most of us try to skip shame, fear and insecurities. It is, in
With
this step. We prefer not to deal with our fact, the very darkness that I didn’t want
darkness, because we’ve been taught to be or experience that has driven me
Debbie Ford
that some parts of ourselves are just not to strengthen my spiritual connection,
okay—it’s not okay to be greedy, selfish learn how to thrive, and become the
or angry. woman I always wanted to be.
But every quality, every human
emotion, comes bearing great gifts.
So, how does one go about
When we deny or repress any aspect
uncovering their dark side—or, to
of our humanity, we strip ourselves of
borrow a chapter title from your
some of our power, some of our genius,
first book—how do we “chase
our ability to go out and create what we
down our shadows”?
want in our lives.
There is absolutely nothing wrong
Ford: Do you remember the old saying,
with saying affirmations or creating
“It takes one to know one”? It turns out
positive intentions, but if we’re doing
that this bit of wisdom holds a key to
these practices to cover up some part of
uncovering our shadows. The quali-
ourselves that we’re horrified by, then
ties and character traits we find most
we are guaranteed to keep repeating
annoying, upsetting or unbearable
patterns of the past. To the extent that
in other people are just parts of our-
we’ve denied or repressed our dark
selves that we do not accept. The more
side, we will be unable to manifest the
intense our reaction to another person,
greatest evolution of ourselves.
the more information it has to offer us
about a part of ourselves that we’ve
How can exploring our dark side repressed in our shadow.
help us manifest our greatest
self?
Once we’ve uncovered one of our
Creator of the Shadow
shadows, how do we go about
Ford: We must go into the dark in order
making peace with it?
Process workshop, author
to bring forth our light. Unless we are
of why good People do
willing to face our shadow and find
Ford: The moment we recognize the
compassion for the parts of us that
gifts of any quality, emotion, experience
Bad Things, and founder
we’ve judged as bad or wrong, we’ll
or situation, it immediately becomes
of The Ford Institute for
never discover the wisdom that we
an ally, rather than an enemy. So, to
Integrative Coaching.
were meant to learn in this lifetime.
make peace with our shadow, we have
We manifest our greatest potential not
to look through new eyes at the quali-
by focusing on our strengths alone, but
ties or character traits that we’ve judged
by danielle dorman
by encountering challenges, getting
as unlovable, and ask ourselves: “Why
blindsided by our own limitations and,
would I need this? How could this
we hear a lot these days
ultimately, by finding the perfection in
quality or situation serve me in creating
about attracting what we want
our so-called flaws and weaknesses.
the life I desire?”
through positive thinking and
If, for example, we are unwilling to
Transformation requires noth-
embrace our neediness, we cut our-
affirmations. Yet, for more than a
ing more than experiencing a shift
selves off from the ability to ask for help
in perception. The shadow is not a
decade, your books have guided
or receive support from others. If we
problem to be solved or an enemy to be
seekers in a different type of
deny or suppress our anger, we won’t
conquered, but a fertile field, ripe for
inquiry—to embrace our negative have access to the part of ourselves
cultivation.
aspects and make peace with our that can set strong boundaries or rally If you’re willing to dig your hands
shadows. why is it so important
people to action.
into the rich soil of your dark side, you
to befriend our dark side?
In my own life, it’s not my quick
will unearth the potent seeds of the
wit or perceived brilliance that has
person you most desire to be.
Ford: I think Carl Jung, the great Swiss
allowed me to transform the lives of
psychologist, said it best: “One does
hundreds of thousands of people, but
For more information visit
not become enlightened by imagining
rather the wisdom I have gained as a re-
DebbieFord.com.
 Collier / Lee Counties
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