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cherished journey of transformational In Essel’s experience, men gener- are both stronger men because of it.”
friendship. ally resist going to an emotional place
where they feel vulnerable. “If strong
Complementary Partners
Mutual Supporters
men talk about feelings of vulnerability
Deb Burger’s
In 1984, David Es-
or want to discuss our deeper emotions,
corporate career
sel worked as co-
we do that with women, because we
as a senior vice
owner of a Sanibel
feel they won’t judge us for it,” notes
president of Louis
Island fitness club.
Essel. “If a guy opens up at that level to
Vuitton in Manhat-
While attending a
another guy, sharing insecurities, finan-
tan was all about
conference in Los
cial issues or relationship failures, he
showing strength.
Angeles, Essel’s
is seen by the other as being weak and
It was also a world
club called to
vulnerable. So many men are uncom-
away from her
advise him that an
fortable with that level of honesty. The
present work as
Deb Burger
aerobics instructor
roots of such issues, about what is ap-
a T’ai Chi Chih
had failed to show
propriate for men to discuss with other
instructor in Southwest Florida.
up for a class.
men, run deep.”
David Essel
After losing a family member on
An hour later,
Essel and De Mond’s friendship
9-11, Burger says, “Life was never
another call from
bond has continued to grow, espe-
the same.” An interview with MORE
the studio eased Essel’s anxiety.
cially over the past two years. “We’ve
magazine in June 2006 shifted Burger’s
“Miraculously, a guy who I had
both experienced a transformation that
paradigm; her focus changed from do-
never met had shown up looking for
has made our friendship stronger and
ing and having to being and allowing.
work as an instructor,” recalls Essel. “I
deeper,” advises Essel. “Now, even
She fervently advises younger people
said, ‘Put him to work and I’ll deal with
though Troy is married with children,
to, “Stop doing and just be; begin to
it when I return.’”
we enjoy a weekly guy’s night out, go
explore the connection with who you
In Essel’s
to the movies, and talk about real things
are on the inside.”
absence, Troy De
that matter.”
In the after-
Mond became
De Mond was an exercise physi-
math of this piv-
an instant hit
ologist at Lee Memorial Hospital in
otal experience,
with the studio’s
Fort Myers before he dropped by Essel’s
Burger and her
students, cement-
club. Eventually, they worked together
husband moved
ing the founda-
in professional exercise videos.
to Florida, where,
tion for their
“David became an immediate
in 2004, she met
mostly close, but
mentor for me,” comments De Mond,
Janet Weisberg,
occasionally long-
Troy De Mond “because I was just getting started. He
a local massage
distance, now
guided me for about eight years through
therapist and
24-year friendship. Essel’s initial gut
an industry that I was just learning,
traumatologist.
response to De Mond still feels accurate
building my own fitness career, virtually
Burger recalls an
to him today: “He’s a great guy with a
following in his footsteps.
Janet Weisberg
initial exchange
good heart and is as determined now
When Essel moved to Sarasota,
of business cards,
to be successful and serve others as he
De Mond says he experienced a brief
then a four-month lull, before connect-
was when I first met him.”
lull in his career, absent the benefit of
ing again over a cup of tea. The two
For Essel and De Mond, those
his friend’s positive energy and drive to
bonded immediately and began sharing
early days of gaining acquaintance
succeed. “I felt hurt by the emotional
good times based on common interests.
were spent over good times, drinks and
loss of my mentor, and we talked about
Despite differing business back-
partying. “There wasn’t a lot of depth
that.” Fortunately, the guys were able to
grounds, “I sensed that we were both
to our friendship then,” remarks Essel,
pick up where they left off once Essel
in transition, and that it was our hearts
“but that’s just the way normal guys do
returned to Fort Myers.
that were conversing,” sighs Burger.
relationships.”
Today De Mond owns Fitness on
“When I got up from that table, I knew I
Then bad times came knocking, ,
o
o
the Move Lifestyle Center in Fort Myers,
had a friend for life.”
and Essel determined that he needed
where Essel has a life coaching office.
It didn’t take long for the idea
to take care of himself and battle his
“We are both different people now,”
of combining Weisberg’s TAT (Tapas
alcohol problem with the help of pro-
observes De Mond. “We’ve learned
Acupressure Technique) instruction
fessional assistance. He was shocked at
self-acceptance, and neither of us is
with Burger’s T’ai Chi Chih to surface.
De Mond’s response to his confession.
afraid to admit our faults and problems.
“The first time we taught together, we
Rather than be put off, “Troy said he
We are also more in touch with our
became as one,” explains Burger, who
wanted to help in any way he could
emotional side. It feels good to have
admits that Weisberg’s influence helped
and that he would support me. He did,
moved from a superficial level of relat-
her learn to respond to life from the
and he still does.”
ing to a deeper friendship. I feel that we
heart rather than the intellect. “Janet
September 2008 27
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