in the car, especially when she’s driving in Massachu- relationship with her, as a rule understand my need
setts. Our house doesn’t have cable, a dishwasher, a to brag and agree. Selena calls her Mama J; my
microwave or a cell phone, and until this winter we mother calls Selena Selenabena, something she
had dial-up. Yes, I am the only 17-year-old without a wouldn’t ever let me do. I think Will O’Connor might
cell phone, and it is all her fault. even like her more than he likes me.
Despite these grave flaws, however, she has always An episode that I think epitomizes our relation-
treated me as an equal. She has never censored my ship happened just a few days ago. I had a rough
books, movies, or music (though she has never night. I was tired, and had just gotten rejected from a
understood the appeal of “the noise I call rap”). She couple of colleges. I was really craving Rolos, those
has never worried or nagged about school; she trusts chocolate-covered caramels, but since it was the
that I will work it out. We’ve been having real conver- middle of the night there was nothing I could do
sations ever since I can remember. She treats me like about it. The next day, when I got back to my room
an adult, but lets me act like a kid. after classes, what do I find on my desk but a large
We argue about ridiculous things like whose arms quantity of Rolos arranged in a heart and a Post-it
get to be on top when we hug, which is often. On a more Note saying, “Guess who loves you?”
mature note, a couple of weeks ago we had a Clemen- My mother and I do actually fight, about once a
tine peel fight. She won’t admit it, but I definitely won. year or so. It never lasts more than a day. I don’t think
My mom’s kind of a tree-hugger nature person who I’m physically capable of going to sleep at night with-
likes to camp and hike. A lot. I am not. But last weekend out being on good terms with my mother. I think it’s
we were both bored, so we went for a long walk, and I partly because I love her so much, and partly because
actually had fun. She’s really picky about Hollywood, so I know better than to take what we have and the fact
I force her to watch movies with me by telling her “I that she is alive for granted. My mother is my best
actually think you’ll like it this time!” and then I wait to friend, and that makes me feel so unbelievably lucky
see how horrible she thought it really was. that I would not trade anything that has happened in
The secret to our relationship is that we respect my life for a different experience.
each other: it’s easy to love your mother, but not as Everyone belongs to some kind of Dead Dads
simple to like her. Somehow she finds the perfect Club, and almost everyone knows that feeling of
balance between friend and authority figure. I can tell helplessness: of knowing that things will never go
her everything without worrying about judgment or back to the way they were. Whether it’s a death, a
censure, and in return she gives me good advice divorce, or losing a house, it can be devastating. I
without patronizing me. She is equally as honest with would be lying if I said I was “over it.” I’m not even
me and answers as best she can whatever questions I sure what that means. We are in these clubs for the
put to her. When I was younger, those questions long haul, regardless of our feelings in the matter.
ranged from, “Who came up with time?” Or, “What’s What matters, however, are the choices we make
a deductious babe?” Yes, I said “deductious,” and no, I about the clubs that are optional. Being in the Dead
have no idea what that is supposed to mean. On the Dads Club makes me realize that the Amazing Moms
other end of the spectrum, she would try to answer Club is the place to be, and it’s a membership I am
any questions I have about my father, most recently incredibly proud of and grateful for. So, please, accept
being whether or not he committed suicide. those clubs that you have to be a part of, and make
Since it has been beaten into their brains, my sure you join one that you can love.
friends can probably all tell you a few immutable
facts about me: I like to read, I really like the Nether- After her chapel talk, Emma Jansen was voted in as a
lands, and I love my mother. She’s kind of a big deal, member of the Amazing Students Club. She will attend
and has much cooler stories than I do, so I tend to McGill University in Montreal, Canada, this fall and can
talk about her a lot. Any of my friends who have a be reached at
emmarjan@aol.com.
ST. GEORGE’S 2008 SUMMER BULLETIN 17
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