Remember that in a baby’s mind,
Total Daily Hours of Sleep
if you have left the room you have
TUR ED
Age 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
FEA
left his life forever. Of course he
1 week
will scream!
3 months
Your baby should always be put down awake so that
9 months
he is aware of where he is. Tempting though it is to
2 years
feed your baby until he sleeps, then wind him terribly
gently over your shoulder before placing him carefully
3 years
in the cot, the reality is that the little air bubble you
5 years
failed to dislodge will become genuinely painful wind
which will cause him to open his eyes and wonder
9 years
immediately where the loving arms of his parent have
18 years
gone - remember that in a baby’s mind, if you have
left the room you have left his life forever. Of course (Table adapted from Dr Richard Ferber’s “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems”)
he will scream!
Sometimes you will find that your child, a hitherto however, and then you need to go back to basics.
It doesn’t need to be complicated,
brilliant sleeper, has come unstuck and either can’t Look at the bedtime routine, change it a little, make
get to sleep or will wake in the middle of the night more of a fuss. Place a little lavender sachet under
it just needs to be consistent - the
and be unable to get back to sleep. This is often a their pillow, or a few drops of lavender oil in their
simpler it is, the easier it is to transfer
manifestation of worry, which can be more easily bath - again, you are taking their fears seriously
resolved with an older, articulate child than a younger and doing something positive about it which will
to granny’s house, a holiday cottage or one. Take some time to think about lifestyle changes actually work.
a friend’s sleepover
- a new house, a new school, public exams - and
talk things through. Sometimes children need
Massage really helps too; get your child to lie on
their tummy and gently knead their shoulders and
Most of us, babies included, need about an hour to
“permission” to be worried and if you can reduce
neck with your thumbs. Touch is a very primitive way
wind down before we are relaxed enough to fall
their mountainous fears to molehills you will be
of expressing love and concern. Whatever works for
asleep, so try to make this a peaceful hour during
teaching them a valuable lesson in stress management.
you and your child, if you make the time to take their
which the bedtime routine unfolds - upstairs for a
fears seriously you will also be keeping the lines of
bath, maybe a gentle massage, a calm breast or
If you make the time to take their communication open throughout their childhood.
bottle feed, a fairly vigorous winding to rouse him
sufficiently to be able to put him into his cot awake,
fears seriously you will also be As the importance of sleep is beginning to be
say “goodnight” and withdraw. As your baby gets
keeping the lines of communication
recognised, there are more and more resources to
older, you can incorporate a bedtime story - daddies
which sleep-deprived families can turn. Some of
are particularly good at this part of the routine, and
open throughout their childhood
them are listed below, but do not allow sleep-
can leave you free to concentrate on your second
deprivation to become a norm in your household -
baby in due course! It doesn’t need to be
Younger children may not be able to articulate their
it does not need to be, and you will all be the
complicated, it just needs to be consistent. In fact,
fears and as a parent you may not want to introduce
happier for facing up to it and resolving it together.
the simpler it is, the easier it is to transfer to granny’s
a fear to them. “Are you worried about your new
house, a holiday cottage or a friend’s sleepover.
school?” may elicit the answer “Well, I wasn’t until
now . . . “ So you can talk around the subject in a
After supper don’t let your toddler watch television or positive manner, which they can contradict. Asking Georgie Bateman teaches the only sleep training course
your schoolchild play computer games. The light your four year-old, “It will be fun to meet new friends currently available to babycare professionals at Reading
emitted from monitors or screens is similar to that and have a new uniform, won’t it?” may give you the University through MNT training and also runs Sleep
used to counteract Seasonally Affected Disorders answer “Yes, but I’m going to miss my best friend Training Workshops for parents. Since 2001, she has
and will trick your child’s brain into thinking it is the and my new skirt has a very stiff button I can’t managed Night Nannies in Hampshire and Wiltshire and
middle of the day, thus increasing his energy levels undo.” I dare you to laugh, just recall your first day currently has a team of around fifty professionals who
and making it harder to get to sleep. at school! Talking it through may not be enough, encourage babies and toddlers to sleep through the night.
LINKS
Helpful books include:
The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg
Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by
Richard Ferber
Agencies:
Night Nannies will send a professional to come
overnight and help resolve sleep problems:
www.nightnannies.com or phone
0207 731 6168 to find your nearest agency
Millpond will talk you through your problems over
the phone and offer ongoing advice:
www.mill-pond.co.uk
Cry-sis is a charity helpline where someone will
listen to your problems and offer advice over the
phone: www.cry-sis.org.uk or phone:
08451 228 669
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