WHOLLY RUDE
In this section: 76 Wholly Rude: The Diary | 77 Caption competition | 78 Rab McNeil |
THE DIARY
diary@holyrood.com
Oh the humanity Throne fit for a Lord
Wholly Rude was at the cash machine in Wholly Rude hears tell that the lovely
Edinburgh University when we couldn’t Bruce Crawford has created a shrine
help but overhear the conversation tak- to Lord George Foulkes in the loo of
ing place between two classic female his Stirling constituency office, which is
yahs behind us. plastered with none too complimentary
“I’ve been cut off by my dad. It’s the newspaper cuttings, chronicling the ad-
credit crunch. He says his fund has gone ventures of the good Lord Foulkes.
down and there’s no money left!”
“OMIGOD! So are you, like, going Assume the position
to have to get a job?” The horror that is the Justice Committee
“No way! He says he’s starting a taking evidence on the Sexual Offences
new one next year, but this year, for tax Bill continues apace. This week we were
or something, I have to use some of the again treated to Nigel Don holding
money my grandad left me.” forth, this time on the age of consent
We walked away, pondering the real regarding sex between teenagers. Nigel
value of the ten-pound note in our hand. said he remembers perfectly well being
a 15-year-old boy and wanting to know
All ears campaign. It was bad enough the Iain exactly where the law stood on the is-
Also overhead, two smartly dressed St Gray leadership campaign wanting people sue. When Wholly Rude was 15, we had a
Aloysius pupils discussing whether or not to find five friends and explain to them deep interest in finding out more about
one of them had been rude to a Big Issue “why you’re supporting Iain”, but on the a wide range of sexual positions; even if
seller. “I did not snigger at the vagrant,” day of the US election, the Nats’ cam- the legal one wasn’t among them.
said one to the other…Straight out of an paign in Glenrothes adopted the ‘Yes, we
Enid Blyton book. can’ slogan for the day. Truly nauseating. Talking shop
Spare a thought for Minister for Parlia-
You can take the girls out of … More US election mentary Business Bruce Crawford. Nor-
Frasers department store in Glasgow We loved this comment on freerepublic. mally the Parliamentary Bureau Motions
may have just gone through a fabby com, a right-wing US site, where people are a mere formality, but unfortunately
refurbishment but as one reader was were documenting their voting experi- for Crawford, on this occasion, the Gov-
buying a rather posh frock to wear to ences on the big day … ernment minister – Fergus Ewing – who
the Politician of the Year dinner, she Very heavy as the polls opened but was due to start the debate following the
was dismayed to hear the assistant say: the constituency “seemed” skewed more motions, was late. So like a dogged US
‘see these bloody tills, they some- heavily Democratic than normal (blacks, Senator determined to filibuster, Craw-
times need a good kicking to get them hippies, gays). This should be solid Re- ford simply talked for minutes and min-
going’. publican territory but I’d say no more utes until a shame-faced Ewing finally
than 50 per cent took a Republican flyer. turned up. Cue embarrassed apology
Glenrothes election special from Ewing to the Presiding Officer, who
One SNP Fife councillor was overheard seemed strangely amused by the whole
Labour leader Iain Gray sneaking out of
in the early stages of the campaign la-
the debate on pleural plaques and other
debacle.
menting the fact that they’d soon have
lung-related nasties for a fag … Christine
another two by-elections to fight, pre-
Grahame brandishing a (foam) axe in the
This is your life
sumably referring to Peter Grant’s coun- Garden Lobby…former Edinburgh city coun- Labour duly wheeled Lindsay Roy into
cil seat, and the Westminster constitu-
cil leader Ewan Aitken riding the Glasgow
the public gallery at FMQs for his first
ency next door that would be forcibly
tube, drawing looks for his trademark dolphin
outing as The Man Who Killed Inde-
vacated once the Nats took Glenrothes.
earring…former MP and MSP Sam Galbraith
We can only hope said councillor enjoys
ed
pendence. Problem was, no one ap-
attending a lecture on the history of medicine
at the RCPSG conference… Former weather-
peared to want to sit near him. So there
the extra time with his family and friends
man and Nationalist MSP Lloyd Quinan mak-
he was, alone on a bench, pretending to
the result has afforded him. show interest in a bunch of politicians
US election special
ott
ing strides towards Canonmills in Edinburgh
… a poor old gent taking a tumble down waffling on about stuff he couldn’t ef-
the stairs in FQS and no MSP appearing to
fect. Welcome to your new life as a back-
One of the major benefits of the US elec-
notice, even when they had been discussing
tion ending is that we – hopefully – no lon-
S
p bencher, Mr Roy. HM
elder abuse… Nicola Sturgeon coming out
of Marks and Spencer’s food hall in Waverley
ger have to put up with Scottish political
Station, with a cup of coffee in hand…
If you have any stories, contact
types shamelessly ripping off the Obama
diary@holyrood.com
76
| 17 November 2008 | Holyrood magazine |
www.holyrood.com |
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