features
EXCURSIONS Not much, it turns out. Cuomo has some- trait.” Dylan was probably just trying to shun his
on a
how digressed further as a lyricist, with painfully overly earnest folkie-cum-hippie fan base, with a
simplistic couplets describing songs he’s kinda dug record he described as a sort of odds-n-sods official
and vignettes about rebel teenagers who nonsensi- “bootleg.” The album boasts a few new substandard
WOBBLY RAIL
cally have an aversion to chocolate ice cream. The originals with nearly-uniformly awful string-laden
lifeless production and rote I-IV-V chord proges- renditions of old folk and pop songs. He also pokes
sions are tedious. This seems to be a hastily written fun at the work of some of his acolytes, Paul Simon
popular music and crap...
album routinely recorded. Even the video for “Pork and Gordon Lightfoot, with terrible renditions of
and Beans” betrays the lack of inspiration: “Hey, their famous songs. The sprawling double album is
let’s put Weezer in some zany, pop-cultural situa- rounded out with some limp live renditions of Dy-
column by | harry burson
tion [Happy Days, the Muppet Show, the Playboy lan’s own tunes, most notably an applause-heavy
Mansion, among Youtube superstars] and watch run through of “Like a Rolling Stone.” The album
“Rivers Cuomo’s Self Portrait” hilarity ensue!” cover is a sloppy, silly painted self portrait. Dylan
As I remove the shrink wrap, the group’s intentions Lyrically, Rivers has shied away from subverts his fans expectations with an album of re-
are clear. The color-coded title is to reassure their the incredibly vague niceties of “Make Believe” in cycled material--folk songs, pop tunes, and his own
base that this is the same beloved band that pro- favor of direct [semi-]autobiographical storytelling.
(tongue-in-cheek?) boasting, although it’s nice to
compositions--delivering the product they want in a
duced some of the best pop music of the 90s, a tacit Two of the tracks, “Troublemaker” and “Everybody
finally hear Rivers rap on a Weezer album.
manner that no one really enjoyed much. The album
apology for “Make Believe.” The photo itself--the Get Dangerous,” follow closely in the ponderous
After a few listens and some thought,
is entirely self-aware as Dylan writes a love-letter to
now-familiar faces of Cuomo, Brian Bell, Patrick vein of “Beverly Hills,” in which Cuomo adopts
structure reveals itself in this mess. From the
himself by celebrating the things he loves, while con-
Wilson, and replacement bassist Scott Shriner-- some alternate persona--in this case an obstinate
overwhelming cover, to the mediocre songs, and
fronting his audience with a snide “fuck you” as he
promises the band is not taking itself to seriously. youth with a vague fascination with violence.
the strangely classicist video, the entire album-as-
so often has through his career.
They’re trying new things. After almost breaking The few relative high-points on the re-
event starts to make a certain sense.
The Red Album is as self aware, and is
up (again), the band is said to have changed their cord are also a mess. “Pork and Beans” is a limp
“Conceptually, this is a brilliant album
as much as an homage to Cuomo as “Self Portrait”
entire approach to writing and rehearsing. For the “El Scorcho” rewrite. The six-minute, multi-part
which is organized, I think, by two central ideas. First
was to Dylan. The parallels between the covers are
first time Rivers is letting everybody not only sing suite “I Am the Greatest Man Who Ever Lived”
that “self” is most accurately defined (and depicted) in
obvious. The song choices, not as much so. In the
lead, but write their own tunes. Oh my! achieves some of the highest musical moments
terms of the artifacts--in this case pop tunes and folk
aughts, one cannot simply cover the pop standards
Cuomo opening his vaults with last on the album by biting the melody of the Shaker
songs claimed as personal property and semisponta-
of the day as was the case in the 50s, 60s, and 70s.
year’s collection of demos seemed to be a sign of hymn “Simple Gifts.” Like a post-Beatles Mc-
neous renderings of past creations frozen for posterity
Instead, Cuomo simply and straightforwardly writes
artistic purging and, hopefully, renewal. What un- Cartney tune, the enjoyable melodicism is ruined
on a piece of tape and (perhaps) even a couple of songs
about them in the hilarious “Heart Songs.” Instead of
known pleasures could this reinvigorated Weezer by the frustratingly arbitrary way the different
one has written oneself--to which one responds. ...”
covering “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Cuomo writes a
have in store for a disillusioned fan still willing to sections of the songs are mashed together. Also,
That’s Robert Christgau from way back
song about it.
spend the money on his own copy of the album? I don’t know what I’m supposed to make of the
in 1970 interpreting Dylan’s infamous “Self Por-
continued page 11
Welcome High School Students
feature by | president kirk
ture their plans and decide through individual
choice what is best to do in life.
The Teachers Collge community rejoic- I hope you will not soon rush away
es in the gathering of the 1200 high school contes- to the great city where so many go to bury their
tants and their friends coming from the towns and talents and waste their lives and be repressed
consolidated schools of Northeast Missouri. and reduced to the commonest level. Oh yes;
You come from good homes, good you should see and understand the city. Every-
towns, and good schools. You represent the body should. But hich character and capabili-
educational highlands of a great state. By con- ties are more easily and more permanently at-
tact with larger crowds from larger and smaller tainable in the smaller cities.
towns you are to have a better measure of the The highest average of the educa-
high merits of your home schools. tional curve is in the smaller cities and con-
I for one am for the “old home town,” solidated school districts where 20% of all
the town having from 500 to 5000 people, the the children reach the senior high school as
town of the type that was the home of William against 8% in the big cities.
Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Eugene Fields and I hope you will carry home more
Anna Howard Shaw, the town of the type that definite ideals of school and college because the
produced a majority of the great people of our school and college are the most powerful pro-
country. I believe in the “old home town.” moters of moral character, personal integrity and
It was in “the country town” that I came unformulated religious convictions and ideals.
into personal contact with men and women most The crowd on the Teachers College
worth while. It was there my professional life was campus welcomes the great gathering that rep-
dreamed into form. It is there that the ideals of resents the cream of the greater community
moral character and conduct are highest. life in Northeast Missouri.
It is a great trip you make to the con- This article was originall published in
tests once each year. You join the crowd that 1925 in Volume XVII, Number 6 edition of the In-
stands for the simple life and the high think- dex, and was excerpted from an original copy in
ing, where the old and the young make ma- The Collection of The Publisher, FBN Press. Ltd.
8 | the monitor
21 august 2008
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