reviews
The End to Boredom: Morton’s List Game Review
review by | james ginns
quests are innocent. You might find yourself turbance. And it was perfect timing: that day
The game Morton’s List (by Dark Carni- playing old childhood games, or finding some was election day. So seven minutes before the
val Games) proclaims itself to be the cure old friend you haven’t talked to for awhile. In polls closed, the group decided to hold an anti-
to boredom itself. It does not have many these quests the list just helps loosen your in- voting rally. An anti-voting rally intended to
rules: the bulk of the instructional booklet hibitions. Some quests find you doing slightly look like an anti-abortion rally with such in-
is a series of lists of activities one could dangerous or illicit activities, like trespassing flammatory statements as “Jesus didn’t vote,
engage in. It can accommodate as many and petty theft. Then every so often you get why should you?”, “God wasn’t elected.”, and
players as the situation demands, but is a quest that is just plain mean like stealing perhaps my favorite “I’m so glad you didn’t
best played with a large group. When the your roommate’s clothing while they are in vote. That’s one life saved.”
game begins the players join a pact called the shower. The key thing to remember is all So is Morton’s List really the end
the Inner Circle. The game begins with of this is voluntary—the table master can al- of boredom? Probably not. It’s a game best
players dicing off for the position of table ways reroll. So the nature of a Morton’s list played with 5+ people. And honestly you
master. The table master then rolls a 30- quest is dependent on just how much “fun” have to be in the right mindset to play Mor-
sided die, known as Morton’s Boulder, and You may, at this point, be wonder- you wish to have. ton’s List: ready to risk looking stupid, getting
follows a set of lists until a specific task ing just what these activities are. If Morton’s Of course, I can’t finish this game caught, and/or finding the materials necessary
is selected. Unless there are serious objec- list is boredom’s antidote, what does it sug- review without a crazy story about just how for the rolled quest. That being said, it’s really
tions, the Inner Circle agrees to do what- gest you do? The book is 360 pages long, so much fun Morton’s list can be. I did not ac- fun. Dropping $30 on Morton’s List instead of
ever activity they’ve rolled for at least an explaining things systematically is somewhat tually take part in this particular quest, but I $50 for a keg might not be a bad idea. You
hour under the supervision of the table impossible. However, having played it sev- do know the group contained more than a can have wild night and the book is never con-
master. These are the basic rules. eral times, I can give you a rough idea. Some dozen people. The quest? Create a public dis- sumed after use (I could be wrong.)
Chen’s Palace Restaurant Review
for Vegetarians and Omnivores
by | daniel curtis, vegetarian by | harry burson, asshole
One of my favorite places to eat in You know what I fucking love?
high school was a Chinese buffet. The com- Chicken. Jesus Chirst, I can not get enough
bination of a cheap smorgasbord of unfamiliar of that shit. Seriously.
flavors with the excitement and mystery of a Like anytime I go to a restaurant
fortune at the end of the meal (which inevi- I always go straight for the sandwich sec-
112 W. Harrison St.
tably everyone involved would add “in bed” tion right away. Especially whenever its
to the end) made for casual dining suited to like covered in spices and sauces and stuff.
groups of obnoxiously loud teenagers talking Grade-A Yummy!
about concerts, high school sports, and other As you can imagine whenever I go
pressing matters. to Chinese restaurants I always go for the
Taco Tuesday
Burger Buck Night
Chen’s Palace offers this same ex- deliciously marinated chicken. Sweet and
5-10 p.m.
thursdays 6-10 p.m.
perience, as well as a diverse menu to order Sour is good, but the best is always General
from. Since switching over to a vegetar- Tso’s. Boo-yah!
ian diet, I’ve tried to stay away from the There’s nothing I hate more than
omnivore-friendly buffet due to a lack of going out to eat, ordering the General’s
Beer Specials
vegetarian entrees. Chen’s menu does offer chicken and getting something that is
Hawg Wings Night
a selection of vegetarian entrees, including not covered in delicious General’s sauce. thursday, friday and saturday
wednesday night
the menu item that I chose to review: Gen- Sometimes it’s not fried and marinted but
eral Tso’s Tofu. is, like, grilled and not, uh, marinated.
4-7pm longnecks $2
While I can be fairly picky with Boo! Hiss!
7-10pm pitchers $5.50
tofu, I found the General Tso’s Tofu to have a Sitting at Chen’s, I ordered with
consistency slightly more solid than cheese- some trepidation. There weren’t many
10-Close draws $1.50
cake, making it neither too soft nor too firm. people in the place, and I wasn’t sure if
The tofu was served with broccoli and a sweet I would get the delicious chicken I so
brown sauce with chopped green onions and craved. Luckily, I was promptly served
dried chili peppers, as well as a side of ei- with some delicious food. The food was
located on the north side of
ther steamed or fried rice. The whole meal well-prepared, and one serving was easily
is served in a pretty generous portion, eas- enough food for my lady-friend and I to
the kirksville square
ily leaving enough to take home for another share. Very nice! I can’t really vouch for
meal or split with a friend. Although Chen’s the buffet, but it looked about as good as
Palace offers nothing new in the world of any other place at a glance.
Chinese American food, it still provides a fa- Chen’s palace is located just
miliar and pleasant taste. north of the square on Franklin St.
10 | the monitor
21 august 2008
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