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T`]\aT Quiz
ys//fashion//reviews//news//music//film//girls
Are
Stalker?
you a
Cool as a cucumber… Or bona fi de
bunny boiler? Take our quiz and see!

You’ve just been on a fi rst date Your crush rejects you. How do you react? You’re getting ready to meet
with a gorgeous girl. How long up with a hot girl you met at a
do you wait before you text her? a) You win some, you lose some. I just move onto the next one. club last week. What’s going
b) I sit in a tree outside her window with a noose round my neck, weeping my through your head?
a) I don’t, I wait for her to text me. heart out and threatening to jump.
b) I text her the minute we part c) I get some wine and pizza in, invite my best friend over and have a cry a) Not much.
company, and then at fi ve b) I’m wondering what else to pack
minute intervals all day. in the suitcase I’m taking along.
c) I send her one short text the How many times have you Do you fi nd yourself making c) I’m worrying about how my
next day.

Googled your crush’
!
s name? tenuous excuses to walk past hair looks.
your crush’s house?
You really fancy someone, but a) I haven’t!
is she interested? How do you b) I do it religiously, every ten a) Are you joking? That would just be weird.
attempt to woo her? minutes, just to check if any b) I do it twice a day, even though she lives three bus rides away.
new links have appeared. c) Every couple of
"
#
weeks I do a small detour on the way
a) I don’t. If she’s interested she’ll c) Once or twice. home from work.
have to chase me.
b) I turn up at her house with a Mostly As: Mostly Bs: Mostly Cs:
bunch of fl owers and a box of You’re defi nitely not a stalker. In Stalker! You’ve got a balanced, healthy
chocolates and serenade her. fact, you’re quite the opposite. You need help. I see a restraining attitude to dating, showing the
c) I invite her to the cinema and Maybe try being a little less laid back order just around the corner… normal amount of curiosity but not
12
hold her hand in the scary bits. about affairs of the heart! taking it too far.
G
O
SSI
P

Continued rumours of a fl ing between Allen says she will be playing a cameo role
Lindsay Lohan and DJ pal Samantha as a lesbian vampire in new fi lm Lesbian
Ronson were fuelled by affectionate Vampire Killers. A source allegedly said

w
h
ore
horseplay between the two on the set of “They want Lily to take on a bigger part
Lohan’s new fi lm, Labor Pains. Paparazzi but she is happy with a cameo.”
Lily Allen snapped the two larking about
fl irtatiously and Lohan’s own father has A new season of lukewarm entertainment
LE
NG
already called the romance “evident to for bored people continues with Big Brother
anyone with half a brain.” 9, and the requisite signs of faux lesbian-
T
E
DI
T
shaped audience titillation are already there.
L
O
After wearing a gruesome dress Self-obsessed housemate Stephanie
patterned with decapitated Bambis to McMichael declared on air that she
CHAR
the Glamour Magazine awards, newly was “dying to get another girl” in her bed.
S BY
D
pink-haired star Lily Allen now plans to Hmm. Somehow we don’t think she’d be
R
pursue further bloodthirsty kicks. Ms so keen if the cameras weren’t rolling…
WO
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