ThE LAST bIsCuIT
shore of P.E.I. have I huffed and puffed that much.
But I’m not complaining. If it wasn’t for the boys
I’d spend the better part of my day on the couch,
reading really long novels until I drifted off, wak-
ing up just in time to spend all that disposable
income on another night out in the Market.
Seriously, my little gym memberships have
my best interests at heart. Usually. Which brings
me round to my antique sleigh. (Antique mean-
ing I went a quarter century without throwing
out the piece of junk.)
It was a lovely Sunday afternoon as our pic-
ture-perfect family unit strapped the sleigh onto
the roof of the Volvo and headed for the Bruce Pit.
The place was packed with families even more
picture-perfect than us. Moms with luscious
hair cascading over bandanas. Dads with greater
depths of bravery than my kids’ father. All with
fancy, aerodynamic toboggans. It was off-putting.
Which is probably why I agreed to a plan only
a four-year-old could come up with.
Instead of going down the hill once or twice
to get a feel for it, we decided to pile in my rick-
ety old wooden sleigh and barrel down as fast as
Bruce Pit and the
we could – damn the torpedoes. The youngest
decided he wanted to ride on my shoulders just
like bedtime. At first I protested. But then, “OK
antique sleigh
boys, let’s do it.”
Their mother claims, in hindsight, to have
registered disapproval. Obviously not loudly
DEREk Dunn enough. We climbed on board, the youngest
on my head, the eldest in the back, and we
>>
Having kids is a lot like having a gym membership, except memberships don’t wrap were off.
themselves around your leg and beg to go canoeing or biking or tobogganing. And it
definitely doesn’t leave you gasping for a defibrillator in the snow next to the twisted remains of an
antique sleigh.
having kids is a lot
I thought outdoor adventure days were over We’re going past this corner of the parking lot,
like having a gym
once I had kids. The whole “nesting” process then around the next corner, going a little faster
membership
– stuffing Home Depot with as much cash as all the time. OK?”
it will take – made me think I’d never leave the “OK, Daddy. But don’t let go, OK?”
house again. No more biking that insane trail off “I’m not letting go just yet,” I say, running There’s an interesting thing about riding a
Huntmar Road near Scotiabank Place. No more alongside him. “You’re doing great.” sleigh when your kids bail out, taking your pre-
early morning fishing trips to Big Rideau. No “But don’t let go.” scription sunglasses with them. You know that
more street hockey. “Turn the wheel a little so we get around the blinding light reflecting off the snow? Combined
I was wrong. corner. Just great.” with the blurriness that is my life without glasses,
Not only do my four- and five-year-old boys “You’re not letting go, right Dad?” any nearby kids are in danger of a hit-and-run.
go like ferrets, but they drag me along behind “Not letting go,” I reassure him, still running I hit no kids that day. I hit an ice patch instead.
them. Soccer is them running – ball in hand and now panting. “Now comes the long straight It ripped apart the antique, and I came to rest at
– away from the net, forever and ever, with me part again. Remember, if you’ve got to fall, do it the bottom of the hill, blind, my sleigh in pieces,
in the dust. No fitness coach could push me like in the grass.” tears of laughter down my face.
those two do, because I’m an oaf by nature and “OK, but don’t let go.” Who needs a gym?
exercise has to be a byproduct of having fun. “Are you ready?” Running real fast now.
Today, having fun is scooping up my youngest “No.”
and slamming him into the snow as he laughs “Ready, set…”
helplessly. Fun is my eldest deciding to figure “Nooo!”
out how to ride a two-wheeler. Guess who got to How do let go at a time like that?
“Any man can be a Father but it
be his gas pedal for the next eight kilometres? Not since I had to jump-start my 1971 VW
takes someone special to be a dad.”
“OK here we go. I’ve got the back of your seat. van at the bottom of a lonely incline on the south
Anne Geddes
46 OTTAWA >> WINTER 2007/2008 www.OttawaOutdoors.ca
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