section G
the big picture
filipino globe
shoot, show & tell
May 2008
40
MElBOURNE NIGHT
The Melbourne Train Station, one of the city’s oldest landmarks, dazzles in the evening light. With its enduring Victorian architecture, Melbourne is said to be Australia’s most European city.
Filipinos began arriving in Australia in great numbers in 1973 and by 1991, the Filipino population had grown to more than 16,000. There are more than 130,000 Filipinos in Australia today.
What if our politicians were call center agents?
PHOTOEssAY
Show us your flash for
tedly Customer: Listen, listen, can Customer: I just need some help
photography by giving us
M
any of us undoub
dream of the day when
lIGHTERsIDE
you just put me through to your here with your product.
the big picture of the Filipino
our politicians will make view from home supervisor? Supervisor: First, I want to
expat’s life.
themselves useful, ideally by locking Agent: What do you mean? apprise you of all our achievements
Photos must be
themselves in a large incinerator. Customer: I mean your boss, your
in economic growth, human rights
accompanied by a caption
Or failing that – after all, if the
Alan C Robles
chief, the person who orders you
of not more than 100 words,
protection and everything else that is
incinerator was a government project, in Manila around, the one who gives you your
describing the event or
magnificent. Our company motto is
you can bet it wouldn’t function and alan.robles@filglobe.com money and tells you exactly what to
circumstances behind them.
“if it looks good on paper, we did it.”
would be the subject of a perpetual do.
Or tell us an interesting
Customer: But ...
investigation – they could go out and Agent: Hold please (transfers call).
anecdote or observation in
Supervisor: Do you know that our
get real jobs.
Agent: Is this in aid of legislation?
Supervisor: This is the executive
not more than 500 words and
boss anticipated the rice shortage, oil
But then when you think more
Customer: No it’s my software, it
branch
share them with the world.
price increases, global warming and
about it more carefully, putting our
won’t run.
Customer: I’m having problems
the cyclone in Burma and prepared
politicians to work might not be in
Agent: Aha, an anomaly! Surely the
with this software I bought from you
plans for all of these? And also
everybody’s interest. Can you imagine
work of members of the opposition
Supervisor: We deny any
predicted the next eclipse as well as
what it would do to the industry
who are as usual resorting to cheap
responsibility for any killings and
major sunspot activity?
if they were to become customer
politicking.
we’re investigating the matter
Customer: I’m just trying to ...
assistance call center agents?
Each published photo or
Customer: Hello is this consumer
e cannot enterW tain your initiative
Supervisor: Nothing is beyond the
essay entitles its owner to a
help desk?
ability of this leadership! Economics!
HK$200 prize and becomes
Agent: Call me “your honor”.
as we are about to go on fact-finding
Politics! Plate tectonics! the property of Filipino Globe.
Customer: Pardon?
Customer: I JUST NEED SOME Photos should have a
Agent: You need to address me by
missions with our families to Europe HELP WITH THIS PRODUCT!!! minimum file size of three
my correct title.
Supervisor: Let me pass you back megapixels.
Customer: Er, your honor, I want to
Customer: Aren’t you going to give
Customer: What killings? I need
to the lower house (transfers call) Color photos should have a
complain about this software that I’m
me a service number?
help with your product and I’m not
Agent: We cannot entertain your miniumum resolution of 300
trying to install ...
Agent: It depends. We might
getting any from your customer
initiative as we are about to go on a
dpi.
Agent: Did I grant you permission
have to refer this to the appropriate
agent.
recess and fact-finding missions with
We reserve the right to make
to speak?
subcommittee for voting.
Supervisor: I’m sorry you feel that
our families to Europe.
changes in line with house
Customer: Say what?
Customer: I want to talk about my
way, because we in this company are
Customer: Well, you know what?
style.
Agent: Are you interpellating?
software problem.
committed to bringing development
Screw you.
Entries should be sent to
Customer: No, I’m here to ask for
Agent: This august body will
and we don’t believe in looking back
Agent: That’s “screw you, your
info@filglobe.com
assistance.
deliberate the matter in closed session.
only moving forward.
honor”.
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