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Part VIII
NO-BRAINERS
196. An incompetent teacher is asked which is correct
usage, ‘two’ or ‘the two.’ In answer, he simply puts out his
hand and extends two fingers.
197. An incompetent teacher is asked the name of Priam’s
mother. At a loss, a says, ‘Well, we call her “Ma’am” out of
politeness.’
198. An incompetent barber is treating with salve the
customers whose faces he’s cut. When one of them
complains about him, he retorts, ‘How ungrateful! You’ve
no grounds for complaint. You’ve received a one-denarius
shave plus a four-denarius treatment with salve!’
199. A clueless apprentice has given someone a bad haircut.
Now, doing the manicure, he cuts into the quick of his nails.
When the customer pushes him away for this, the apprentice
shouts, ‘Boss, why won’t he let me learn?’
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