Philogelos: The Laugh Addict - The World's Oldest Joke Book

131. A student dunce from Sidon has a farm that’s many
miles away. To bring it closer, he knocks down seven
milestones.
132. A salesman from Sidon undertakes a journey on foot
with a companion. When he needs to relieve himself, he is
left a bit behind and remains some distance back. His fellow
traveller gets ahead of him and writes ‘Hurry and catch up
with me!’ on a milestone. When he reads it, the Sidonian
writes underneath, ‘No, you wait for me!’
133. A fellow asks a hunchbacked Sidonian ﬁsherrman,
‘Hey, you got any hardshell crabs in that hump — er, I mean
hamper of yours?’ The ﬁsherman, furious, retorts, ‘You got
any softshell crabs in your fat tit — er, I mean kit?’
134. A Sidonian centurion addresses the troops: ‘Today I
want you to sit a lot, because tomorrow you’re going to do a
lot of marching.’
135. Someone asks a Sidonian candle-maker, ‘Sir, do you
have chilblains — er, I mean kindling? The angry candle-
maker responds, ‘And you, Sir, do you have chancres — er, I
mean charcoal?’
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