SKETCH
I kind of like Linda’s, don’t give a damn to avoid or move on from drug problems.
approach, her individuality in a land NIBs “The Scottish Government’s new drugs
where knock-off Chanel rules, and it’s strategy is driving massive changes to
T
iming, as they say, is everything. So always refreshing to see her scrambling the way we approach our terrible drugs
imagine my disappointment when, barefoot down the corridor when she T
he Minister for Public Health, Shona
Robison, has called upon young problem. It is a highly ambitious plan of
only days after my last sketch went out, can’t be bothered with shoes. people to learn lessons from their action which will demand various agencies
so did Wendy. Oh how I will miss her, parents on taking care to get themselves to change the way they work. It is vital
honest, I will. She was a gift to us hacks Elsewhere Ministers were continuing their screened for other cancers, with figures that they also have the energy, vision and
as it gave a measure of reassurance to disappearing act when topics they don’t showing record successes for breast appropriate resources to see it through.”
know that even if we reached the press want to discuss come to the fore. On the screening programmes against worrying
gallery late for FMQs we wouldn’t have day the exam results where announce trends in sexual health. After the Education Committee took
missed a dashed thing; Wendy stands Newsnicht did a piece on Scottish evidence detailing the high number of
up, Wendy asks a question, Wendy Education where neither Fiona Hyslop or Ms Robison said, “Screening programmes unemployed teaching graduates, the
sits down, Eck stands up, Eck ritually her deputy Maureen Watt where available depend on people coming forward and LibDem Education spokesman described it
dismembers Wendy, end of. Guess I for interview, which seemed kind of strange taking up the invitation to be screened. at as an utter waste of talent. Margaret Smith
better make sure my watch is well wound considering they had hardly been off a Younger people now need to take this said, “The evidence we heard made it very
for the start of the next session. news segment all day praising our clever on board too, and to take advantage of clear that the major issue is that councils are
little pupils. There could be method in the testing and treatment available to being forced to cut their education budgets.
So we entered the annual Labour their madness though as there are strong protect their own sexual health.” Trends The SNP’s instructions about teaching
party scraping the bottom of the barrel rumours of a reshuffle and they are both in younger people’s sexual health are numbers and class sizes are not matched
exercise, sorry, leadership contest. At said to be on the hit list, the two of them causing increasing concern. Four out of by the woeful funding settlement handed
the starting line we have a grey man, a may well have considered that having every five new diagnosis of Chlamydia down to councils. As a result, well trained
hatchet man and a po faced woman. I Gordon “Butch” Brewer put the boot in at among women were in the 15-24 age and enthusiastic probationers are being let
do have a sneaking respect for Cathy a vulnerable time may have been one risk group, while 71% of new diagnoses down across Scotland.”
Jamieson as she has put up a creditable too many and well worth avoiding. among men were in the 20-34 age group.
performance against our Lord and master “As we see an all-time high in the number
on the occasions when she has stood in The first couple of weeks it has been a of older women taking advantage of
at FMQs but the one thing we do know holding pattern at questions with stand- breast screening, we want to create the
about leadership contest is that ability ins taking the flack. Cathy Jamieson did same levels of awareness in younger
has little to do with the result. Down in have some fun slating Eke over the AK people about STI testing, treatment and
London the sharks have been circling for toting councillor Jahangir Hanif, but the – perhaps most importantly – prevention.
a while now, be it baby faced Miliband or effect was a tad spoilt by her getting a The Scottish Government, health boards,
Straw’s Lancashire mafia but I’m secretly tellin’ off from the Presiding Orifice for clinicians and many other people can help
rooting for Ed Balls, purely for the comic asking about something that had dash achieve this, but young people themselves
potential he would have as PM. all to do with Parliament. have a big part to play.”
_P
_By Kris Murray Browne
olitics
Oh, and the LibDems are had a leadership
contest too, if anyone noticed, or even
cared. It would be cruel to poke fun at
the disadvantaged but go on, a hearty
laugh is good for the health I’m told. Its
eventual winner was Tavish “cringer yarl”
Scott. Now that was a surprise.
And in his first week calling the FM to The annual Age Participation Index [API]
Reviewing the summer, one has to account Tavish appeared to be concerned for higher education has been published
mention the by election in Glasgow East. about matches, waffling on about vestas. and has shown the number of young
I know, yada yada yada, but it was quite I know he wanted to start off with a flash people entering higher education has
an event, mostly for the fact that the bang, but this was more of a wallop. fallen slightly on previous years. The API
London news desks suddenly found out for Scotland was 46.9%, a decrease of
there was such a place. It was quite a And now it’s official, the Labour Party 0.2% since 2005-06. The index has been
coup for the SNP but, good grief, their have elected the second most boring man around 50% for the last 10 years reaching
candidate, what a dreary man. Watching in the Scottish Parliament as their leader. 51.5% between 2000 and 2002. The
John Mason’s victory speech the Iain Gray now has the task of staving off participation rate is still higher for women
following morning, curiously under a sign the apathy in the Labour voters and it than men although the gap has narrowed
for NEXT, was hardly rousing. Talking of ain’t going to be easy. More to the point, slightly on previous years.
seismic changes in a voice more suited for those of us destined to be watching
to Mr Bean, he looked every inch a man from the gallery, oh dear, oh dear, oh There has been an 8% rise in drug related
who didn’t give-a-damn. I’m sure he’ll fit dear. It’s going to be a long year. deaths in Scotland according to figures
in very well at Westminster. published by the Registrar General. There Scotland’s university rectors hosted a
And so it begins, another year of blarney were 455 drug related deaths in 2007 of conference to discuss the implications
One thing that did raise a smile was a and bluster, dog fights, cat fights and, if which 64% were heroin and/or morphine of the interim report of the Joint Future
fluff piece in one of the Sundays which they can spare the time, the occasional related with the rest linked to cocaine, Thinking Task Force on universities and
had a fashion guru cast an expert eye spot of legislation. As ever I’ll be there methadone or diazepam. Alcohol was also their funding. The task force made up from
over the Scottish cabinet. Basically they looking on from the press gallery trying a factor in 157 cases. university representatives, members of
are all dowdy scruffs with the exception desperately to stave off the desire to the government and the funding council
of Kenny Mac Askill. I never figured sleep, usually be fleeing down to the The figures precede the publication of the was formed to look at future funding after
the Cabinet Sec for justice as a style Garden Lobby for a spot of Costa. I could Scottish Government’s new drugs strategy the disappointment of the last budget
icon; whenever I’ve seen him he always say I will make a more concerted effort and they are confident that the proposed settlement. Craig Murray, Rector of Dundee
seems to be in the same grey suit, but to cut back on the cheap laughs but I’ve changes will have an impact. David Liddell, University said that the model of funding
then I’m no expert. Most of my stuff never been one to make promises I can’t Director of the Scottish Drugs Forum, in place had been plotted during good
comes from Barnados these days [that keep, and for heaven’s sake, they make said, “We have a huge drugs problem in economic times and had not been tried
being said I got a fantastic Prada from it so damned easy! Scotland, with many services overwhelmed and tested during more pressing times,
there for next to nothing, so not all bad]. by demand for treatment and support. and warned that the lack of any reference
Some particularly harsh words where PS for those of you wondering, the most to student support within the interim report
used for Culture Sec Linda Fabiani who boring man in Parliament is James Kelly There are also huge obstacles to was a fundamental flaw. Glasgow Rector,
has a somewhat flamboyant style, it – never heard of him? Don’t be worried, overcoming underlying factors such Charles Kennedy MP said that the rectors
seems her hippyish habit of chucking on no one else has either, probably not even as poverty, social breakdown and the would be lobbying hard for a fair settlement
the first thing that comes to hand has his constituents, but as dullards go, he’s difficulty of accessing quality training and for the Higher Education sector when the
failed to impress. a class act. employment opportunities for people trying next budget comes up.
Substance_28_
www.scotcampus.com_
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