Call to a priesthood
Sarah Mowbray recounts her journey from ordination
as a woman priest through her experience of the tradition
to a rediscovery of the priesthood of all believers
O
n the subject of the ordination of women Jesus Christ. In my heart I know that when the priest
to the priesthood I think I am unique. I am says the dominical words, the simple gifts become
unique by virtue of the way I came to hold my something holy. Yet there I was expecting people to
views. I was ordained a priest in 2001 and I now find believe that this is what I was doing for them, and not
myself worshipping in a church which has Alternative believing it myself. I would say the words and do the
Episcopal Care, and I now struggle with the issue of actions, but knew in my heart that I couldn’t do it.
women priests. We moved to Kent to begin James’ curacy. I was
I was born and brought up in Wrexham, and was given the opportunity to serve in a local parish, and
encouraged from an early age to attend church. I declined the offer. As soon as I did this, I was relieved.
found myself exploring a vocation to the priesthood I was able to support James and to build my faith back
from GCSE age, and at the tender age of twenty-one I up. During this time, I was able to stand back and
I was
attended a selection conference and was put forward re-evaluate and assess all that had happened so far. I
for ordination training once I had completed my was so happy to be back in the congregation. I had no
returning
studies at Aberystwyth. After two years at St John’s desire to return to any type of ministry. I didn’t miss
College, Nottingham, I returned to North Wales to it one bit.
to a
start a curacy. After a lot of prayer, consideration and discussion,
My curacy was not a happy time. I found that I had I decided in January, last year, to relinquish my Holy
priesthood
been thrown in at the deep end and expected to sur- Orders. It was the best decision I have ever made, and
vive. I found myself in a difficult situation. I was about not one I took lightly. I was now free, free to be the to which
to conduct a funeral in the parish church, and one of person God called me to be.
the relatives collapsed, and subsequently died, in my Now that you can see a bit of the journey I have
I have
arms. I dealt with the situation the best way I could, been on, you may well see why I could not, in full
and was amazed at how I was able to carry on and do conscience, now receive from a woman priest. Part
always
the job I was there to do, and do it with care, consid- of it is coming from the point of view that, if I got it
eration and still maintain the level of professionalism wrong and put it right, how many have got it wrong
belonged,
that I had come to expect from myself. and have not?
It was not the situation that got to me; it was the Part of it comes from my experience of priesthood
the
way I was treated afterwards by my incumbent. I felt as a layperson; I could only receive the sacrament
I was given no support or guidance, and what I was from a man. A priest is the representative of Christ;
priesthood
given was too little too late. I became ill, I was given so by virtue of this has to be a man. Also tied into that
time off work, and was told to take anti-depressants is the apostolic succession. The orders of a priest are
of all
and to see a counsellor. handed down from generation to generation through
This was the most heart-breaking thing that had a succession of men.
ever happened to me. I am quite a spirited woman I was astounded by how important that was when-
believers
(well, being a Taff, what would you expect?), but to ever I saw the late Fr Paul Wakelin preside at Mass
have to come face to face with this awful demon that and also Fr Michael Shields. Fr Michael trained Fr
had taken over my life, and to say ‘yes, I have failed’ Paul, who in turn trained James, and when I see the
was pretty horrible. line of succession, I can see their similar traits. It is
I had met James in my final year of studying at like seeing a grandfather, father and son; you can see
Aberystwyth and we had discussed marriage, and the similarities and likeness.
had planned to marry in 2003. With my health as it It gives me the confidence in a church that never
was, and the reason being my unhappiness in North changes, and never ends. The way that Fr Michael says
Wales, we decided to bring the wedding forward and Mass is just how Fr Paul said Mass, and James says
married in 2002. I moved to Mirfield to be with James, Mass just like Fr Paul. In each case Christ has been
who was now himself training to be a priest. passed from one priest to another, through their ordi-
I was given permission to officiate in a local parish. nation, which comes from generations long ago, and
This was where I found myself questioning my role as through training.
a priest. There were three churches in the parish; they When we were talking about the article, James and I
had a moderately Catholic background. The people I got onto the subject of being a priest forever, and what
served were God-loving, faithful people. They knew that now means for me. We talked about the rites of
what they were doing and why. I would stand in front ordination and the part that says ‘you are a priest for-
of these people, celebrating Mass, and realized that I ever like Melchizedek of old’, James suggested that I
didn’t believe in what I was doing myself. was returning to a priesthood to which I have always
I am a firm believer in transubstantiation, by belonged, the priesthood of all believers. I had sort of
upbringing and conviction. I struggled with believ- forgotten about that, as I think so many of us do.
ing that I had the authority, right, or, dare I say it, the Maybe if the priesthood of all believers had been
power to proclaim that the gifts in my hands were now a role that was made a bit more obvious to me as a
April 2008
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newdirections
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