30days@forwardinfaith.com 30days@forwardinfaith.com
Different in the North West ference, this would really spice up the what’s left of the Christian Church.
30Days is grateful to Ruth Gledhill of spouses’ programme – except, of course, Why don’t you give the Episcopal
The Times for some gems from an analy- the Archbishop of Canterbury seems Church a gift this holiday season
sis of bishops’ expenses during 2006. Our unaccountably to have left our Gene off and get the f*** out of it – A pissed
good friend the Bishop of Burnley appar- the invitation list! off and disgusted gay Episcopal
ently spent no less than £10 on ‘quiet days priest...who you can’t touch because
and retreats’. I don’t live in your fascist diocese.’
Well done, Bishop Goddard! (Although 30Days readers wishing to send Mr
some might think he’s rather let the side AffCaths come of age Semes new year greetings (he lives in
down – the Bishop of Southwark came Ever wondered what Affirming Catholi- Oregon) can apparently contact him
in with a much more episcopal £4,054!) cism is all about? Help is at hand. Go to at <rsemes@direcway.com>. A second
We know things are different in the North <www.affirmingcatholicism.org.uk> and email address he is reputed to have
(because people are always telling us), click on the link headed ‘What we think’ <highchurchatheist@gmail.com> (which
but evidently they’re even more different and back will come the message ‘This says it all!) appears to have been taken
in t’ North West. page is currently under construction over by somebody calling himself Clay-
Following right behind the Bishop of and will be available shortly.’ Well, given ton Barlow.
Burnley is the Bishop of Stockport, who that they’ve been around only 18 years,
managed to get through a whole £25 on it’s probably a bit soon to expect them to
garden and household equipment – com- have decided anything as complicated as
pared with the Bishop of Dover, who what they think. Still, we live in hope. The Satanic She
needed 141 times as much – £3,527. One of our readers recently attended a
The Bishop of London’s very creditable Roman Catholic baptism service and was
£427 on ‘public transport and economy surprised to read on the service sheet that
air travel’ is really rather undone by the Fringe event the godparents would be asked if they
£25,000+ cost of his full-time chauf- According to the newsletter of fringe renounced Satan and ‘all his/her works’.
feur, particularly when compared with group GRAS, it appears that the body Was this something members of WATCH
the chauffeur-less Bishop of Manchester so memorably launched at the House would now be advocating?
(back to the North West!), whose ‘public of Lords, at an event hosted by Baron- After the service he asked the parish
transport and economy air travel’ costs ess Rendell of Babergh (that’s whodunit priest if this was a new addition to their
amounted to a very green £6,436. author Ruth Rendell to most of us) back liturgy, but he apologised profusely.
Naturally enough, the Archbishop in 2000, is even more on the fringe than When he had typed out the service he
of Canterbury’s hospitality bill was the anyone had realized: ‘Over 20 members realized that he had only described the
highest at £62,652, double the £30,751 of GRAS gathered in St Anne’s Church in baby as ‘he’ and quickly went through
spent by the Archbishop of York, and Soho for our annual meeting and confer- changing all the masculine pronouns
more than 1,000 times the £62 reportedly ence.’ to ‘he/she’ and ‘his/her’. Pity; it would
spent by the Bishop of Lancaster (which, A 30Days reader wonders whether we have been good to know whether our
for the geographically challenged, is think that we should get them listed as feminist sisters would be enthusiastic or
somewhere in the, er, North West). an endangered species and enquires as appalled.
to the implications for terminal care of
such a minority group. We suggest he
consults his diocesan bishop for advice
Something borrowed, without delay. Many a true word…
something blue Many thanks to the eagle-eyed priest
The ego of New Hampshire bishop in the diocese of Southwark, who spotted
Gene Robinson knows no bounds. ‘I this gem in a flyer for this year’s CMEAC
always wanted to be a June bride,’ he said, **@%$**! (Council for Minority Ethnic Anglican
speaking in November at Nova South- It’s comforting to know that, despite all Concerns) Vocations Conference.
eastern University, Florida. ‘It may take the disagreements raging on in The Epis- The opening two lines run:
many years for religious institutions to copal Church, reasoned debate is still to
Q. Thinking about serving God?
add their blessing for same-sex mar- be found. Our good friend the Bishop of
A. It’s as easy as ABC!
riages and no church, mosque or syna- Fort Worth recently received an email
gogue should be forced to do so. But that from an Episcopalian priest by the name
should not slow down progress for the of Robert Semes:
full civil right to marry,’ Robinson said. ‘Dear Mr. Iker: I hope that
‘Because New Hampshire will have legal Presiding Bishop Jefferts-Schori
Copy for 30 Days
unions beginning in January, my partner takes you out behind the woodpile
should reach the FiF office
of 20 years and I will enter into such a and beats the sh*t out of you...you
by the 10th day of the month:
legal union next June.’ pompous a**hole. Your arrogance
Just in time for the Lambeth Con- is beyond the pale and a disgrace to
30days@forwardinfaith.com
14
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newdirections
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January 2008
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