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T BODY T
M a F k IgI e . na h I n c h a I y e .
not stir. her voice is mechancal and hollow, always, begging,
“baby buca. chapati chaiye. kripeya. eck rupee. rupiye di-
jiye, baby buca.” My baby, eat, please. and I say. I must say.
Mafkigie. nahin chaiye. I am sorry. I have nothing.
on some level, I hate myself for not giving. I offer fruit or
pens when I have them in my pockets. The children squeal
and grab the pens away. but I have let my economic iden-
tity become a barrier, and the only bridge, the link to the
woman’s acceptance of me. I know about the begging mafias
in delhi, how children and women beg for handlers and
receive little in return. but I also know that they are hun-
gry. That the blood-soaked bandages they touch me with
are evidence not only that they have nothing, but that I have
everything, and give nothing. That I am as separated from
my cultural and economic heritage as I am connected to it.
My class. My understanding, frozen on a mantle. My bike,
shining, my mother. My cold, smooth cheek. “Isn’t your fa-
ther a doctor?” We’re not rich. or anything. but we have a
beautiful statue, and jam from america.
Mafkigie. nahin chaiye. I am sorry. I have nothing.

blue moon 
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