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and starch turns to sugar turns in blessed mouths, con-
gregation members are asked to step forward and Bear
Testimony.
A five-year-old boy, coached by his mom: “I believe in
the prophet Joseph smith, i believe in the prophet Gor-
don Hinckley.” Then his mother, who at first I thought
was talking about plato the philosopher but actually was
referring to the soft, colorful play-dough. The organist
stands at the pulpit, she is crying, her husband has can-
cer. The navajo woman in front of me takes out a worn
book of crossword puzzles, Fill-it-ins. she is on puzzle
93.
it feels like a bank here, from the branch president to
the fluorescent lighting, thin grey carpet. I almost expect
to find an ATM behind the corrugated dividers, people
waiting hesitantly to check their savings account balance.
This is business where there should be mystery, ritualis-
tic without ritual. not the tradition and mysticism that so
drew me to Judaism, the laughter and celebration I find
among unitarians. i don’t belong here.
i was invited to church by missionaries, welcomed by
this group, but i don’t know how they would feel if they
could see the struggle inside my head as i sit with my legs
crossed demurely at the ankles. Telling myself: Gratitude
is beautiful, these people are bearing witness to how they have
been moved by their family, church, relationship to God. It is
blue moon 171
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