PRAYER: The Heartbeat of the Church
By consistently writing prayers, we “Gratitude does not come naturally to God tell me I had to not only forgive but
gain insight into our real selves. “We most people,” notes Rabbi Kushner. Thus, also to bless my father.
write more than we are fully conscious of. prayer shouldn’t be just an inventory of what My “Litany of Forgiveness” and my
. . . Under our pen emerge reflections and we lack, “but a series of reminders of what we “Litany of Blessings” were written over
insights and awarenesses that we have have, and what we might so easily take for several days. Here are a few words of that
not articulated before,” notes Schmidt. granted and forget to be grateful for.” “Litany of Forgiveness”: “For the times
In the 12-month span from October Gratitude lists can express thankful- you drove drunk with my mother, sister,
1994 to October 1995, there were four ness for all manner of things. For and me in the car, I forgive you, my
deaths in our family, two within a month instance, we can thank God for the fact father. For the times you were physically
of each other. Much of my grieving for we are alive; our home, job, and other and verbally abusive to me, I forgive you,
my older sister, my mother-in-law, my material blessings; the beauty around my father. For the times you belittled me
wife’s sister and her husband was done us—a glorious sunrise, pretty flowers; the in front of others, I forgive you, my
through prayer writing. blessing of good health for family and father.” And so on.
One prayer journal entry shows me ourselves; our friends and family; being The “Litany of Blessings” had numer-
how I thought that in grief I had to be delivered from our fears. ous prayers also, including these: “For
always providing a home, clothes, food to
eat, and a bed of my own when I was
growing up, I bless you, my father. For
As we fill journals with
my parochial school education, I bless
our prayers, we gain self-
you, my father. For teaching me how to
use tools and how to work on cars, I bless
knowledge and learn about
you, my father.”
A special advantage to writing our
God’s relationship with us.
prayers is we can literally keep what we
pray and reread it at will, and we can
Our prayers on paper
share our prayers with others when
appropriate. My litanies were read to a
become a part of our
trusted friend who I knew would under-
stand not only what I was doing, but its
spiritual autobiography.
significance as well.
What was the result of my litanies? A
sense of the releasing of my father, letting
“tough” for the benefit of others: “Part of Writing gratitude prayers increases him go, and releasing in me the anger
me says, ‘You shouldn’t feel so bad; it was our joy and keeps us sensitive to the good and contempt I had held tight and close
only a sister who died. It wasn’t like it that fills our lives. for so many years.
was a spouse or a child of your own who Of all the prayers I’ve written the past “Something miraculous happens
died.’ I just talked to Teri [a friend] and few years, perhaps the most spiritually when people come . . . seeking the pres-
realized how much I want to minimize enriching have been prayers of forgive- ence of God,” says Rabbi Kushner. “The
my feelings and my pain. Dear God, I ness, especially prayers of forgiveness for miracle is that we so often find it.” And
want to be so profound and say such grand my father. For decades I grasped tightly writing prayers can help us more quickly
things, and all I can say honestly is, I hurt. to resentment and anger toward my enjoy that miracle.
And I don’t think it should hurt so much, father, some of it righteous but much of Our prayer life can be enriched
but it does.” it exaggerated. But he’s been dead since through prayer writing. Also, our knowl-
As we fill journals with our prayers, 1987, and I realized that to grow spiritu- edge of God’s part in our lives, His will for
we gain self-knowledge and learn about ally I had to forgive him. us, and self-knowledge grow deeper.
God’s relationship with us. Our prayers Not knowing how to do it, I wrote These things happen, ultimately, because
on paper become a part of our spiritual prayers simply asking God for the grace writing our prayers brings us to strong,
autobiography. to forgive and to show me how. And He intimate contact with two special per-
Prayers often have more meaning did. I was led to write a “Litany of For- sons—God and ourselves.
when we write them rather than simply giveness” for my father. That, however,
speak them. For instance, prayers of grati- wasn’t enough. I needed to thank my Richard Bauman, author of the book Awe-
tude, or “gratitude lists,” are powerful father, too, for the good influences he Full Moments: Spirituality in the Common-
and meaningful prayers when written. had been responsible for in my life. I felt place, writes from West Covina, California.
24 EVANGEL • DEC 2008
Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38