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18
Glovesick
Friday May 18 2007
zeroes
UNSURPRISINGLY, there was
t
a spring in the step of most
falls over and just about gets a hand to
akes a step in the wrong direction then
Kickbackers after Saturday’s
i
victory over Hibs. And there was
C
t, helping it on its way into the net.
much merriment over the latest in
beaten at his near post, but there’
atastrophe rating - 6. Shouldn’t be
a seemingly never-ending series
worse to come from this man so only 6.
s
of gaffes by Hibernian goalkeepers.
Significance rating - 4.
already over, this just added a nice
The game was
Hibs Derby “Goalkeeping” Errors
Bruno’s post “What A Doofus!! Top 10
shine to the score. Hilarity rating - 10.
(2005-2007)”
spotlight this week:
deserves to hog the
=7th - 13/04/2005 - Simon Brown (Lee
Miller) - T
In honour of yet another spectacular
This goal started the trend of gift goals
ynecastle - Hearts 1-2 Hibs.
Hibernian goalkeeping cock-up, I’m
in derbies; a real dribbler of a Lee Miller
going to attempt to rate the 10 most
header from 12 yards creeps in,
recent (yes, there have been 10 in the
bouncing gently between Brown and
last 12 derbies) clangers that Brown,
his near post. Catastrophe rating - 9.
Malkowski and McNeill have made in
A
games against us. I’m going to give
a whole variety of small wild animals
pathetic attempt to prevent a goal,
could have kept this one out.
a ‘significance rating’, both out of 10,
each error a ‘catastrophe rating’ and
Significance rating - 3. W
then add them together to get an
chasing Europe and a win would have
e were
overall ‘hilarity rating’ out of 20.
seen us just 3 behind Hibs IIRC but,
predictably
10th - 22/04/2006 - Zibby Malkowski
goals in the second half to romp to a
, Hibs scored two flairtastic
(Roman Bednar) - Easter Road - Hibs
deserved win and a glorious European
campaign.
was almost completely irrelevant to us,
Ahem. Thus, this mistake
cyber friends at www.jamboskickback.co.uk - voted the nation’s
For the very best Hearts chat on the world wide web visit our
2-1 Hearts.
but gets 3 because it put us ahead at
No 1 internet fans’ forum - or hit their link on our own website
the ball breaks kindly for Zibby to pick
Bednar charges forward but at www.planethearts.co.uk and join in the debate.
up; he repays the favour
ball back to Bednar
, fumbling the
the time. Hilarity rating - 12.
easy finish. Catastrophe rating - 6.
’s feet giving him an
Reports of Malkowski using Lurpak as
=7th - 15/10/2006 - Zibby Malkowski
a goalkeeping aid are denied, he really
(Andruis Velicka) - Easter Road - Hibs
should have smothered the danger no
problem. Significance rating - 2. W
for us, Zibby proves as generous as
2-2 Hearts. During a turbulent season
us chasing a 2nd place finish, an
ith
ever with a double clanger in this game.
equaliser at Easter Road was most
This first one he decides to wander 18
welcome, but they upped the flair
yards of
and won with a late goal scored
a looping high ball on the edge of his
f his goaline to compete for
embarassingly by a small dog called
area. V
Benji. W
to send a header trundling into the net.
elicka outjumps Zibby and Jones
won the semi-final three weeks before
e came second anyway, and
Catastrophe rating - 5. If he stays on
so I don’t think anyone really cared
his line there is no danger at all, maybe
about this result. Hilarity rating - 8.
there was a miscommunication, who
knows. More crazy than clanger
9th - 07/08/2005 - Zibby Malkowski
Significance rating - 7. W
.
(Saul Mikoliunas) - T
pummelled 2-0, looking like revisiting
e’re getting
Hearts 4-0 Hibs
ynecastle -
some horrible derby scorelines from
and cruising, Miko picks up the ball
. With Hearts 3-0 up
years gone by and all of a sudden
25 yards out and pings in a low shot
we’re back in it. Hilarity rating - 12.
towards Zibby’s near post. The Pole
6th - 01/04/2007 -
(Marius Zaliukas) - Easter Road -
Andy McNeil
CLOWN PRINCES: Malkowski, left, and McNeil flank Brown
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